What I want.

I think its better off if I just write what I feel. Here is to hoping that nobody is actually reading this blog.Work has been crazy. I love my manager, I enjoy working in this position but I want so much more. I don't love what I do.

I need the job, and try to do my best. But sometimes I still feel like I am stuck in the past. I have never stuck to anything. I never thought I'd actually end up working as engineer either. I firstly wante to be a firefighter, then a marine biologist, dentist, architect, journalist and then I wanted to be an engineer.

I get stuck up in the past, and sometimes i need a kick in the butt.

for now im looking for that kick. I need to write at least for fun. I have applied for other jobs within the company, but its frustrating to see the other candidates that are actually coworkers. But it is me against the world, right?

Is just it hurts so bad, when you fall from the height you want to be in.

I want this new job, so badly. But what if I don't get it? What if its not what I expect?

I hate to wait.

I hate feeling this way.

I hate being impatient and anxious!

How do I change how I feel about this?

To be continued...